Hello.
I just had a sudden urge to blog.
Today, i had my writing exams.
I wrote an essay titled Fire.
And this made me think.

I used to love to write about fire when i was young, fire was my friend but today, i couldn't feel the friendship 

Today, neon signed reminders told me that people change. I'm not sure if it's a blessing to be horrible at remembering or a curse.
I have horrible memory, and things come and go in my mind. Sometimes, this may be just the blessing we all need. However, at times, i wished hard i had a story to tell. I had. But, i no longer remember. or i chose not to.

Today i also realised, i had my playlist of shuffle. i seldom do that. I just hated how the songs don't go according to the order i want. but for today, i wanted it to be shuffled. many songs from my primary days played. and i just, i don't know, the song keeps me thinking.

was it my fault then that all that happened? or was it because you were just selfish, and hugged up with jealousy? or maybe i was just a lost puzzle piece, never fitting in. never finding the perfect fit.

why can't i just find a utopia of mine in which i can just be well, me. and not be judged, be liked. just you know, be able to talk to people like it was a reflex thing.

i guess, i still wish for a fairytale.

• 1: Could you go the rest of your life without smoking a cigarette? non smoker
• 2: Are you single/taken/heartbroken/confused? confused?
• 3: What if I told you that you were pretty? really would love to say "aww thank you" but no, an asian reply. cause you know, i really look like chubby bunny taking out the cute part.
• 4: Ever been told “it’s not you, it’s me”? no.
• 5: Are you interested in anyone right now? probably
• 6: What are you looking forward to in the next week? end of exams.
• 7: Do you want to be single? don't know
• 8: Did you go out or stay in last night? stay. had to study for emaths but ended up sleeping
• 9: How late did you stay up last night? hmmm, can't remember probably 1?
• 10: Can you recall the last time you realized you liked someone a lot? no.
• 11: Last three things you had to drink? water, gongcha and my self proclaimed wine
• 12: Have you pretended to like someone? no. i go for straight forward. i hate you and that's it.
• 13: Have you ever told somebody you loved them and not actually meant it? don't remember
• 14: Honestly, has anyone seen you in your underwear in the past 3 months? no..
• 15: Is it hard for you to get over someone? probably. i'm a less fickle minded species
• 16: Think back five months ago, were you single? yea.
• 17: What were you doing at 12:30 this afternoon? in school. doing emaths?
• 18: Hold hands with anyone this week? mmmm, i can't remember
• 19: Could you go for the rest of your life without drinking alcohol? yes. i tend to do that. i mean, i don't even take coke.
• 20: What would you name your future daughter? AFTER A PLANET. I LOVE NAMES OF PLANETS. 
• 21: Do you miss anyone? yea.
• 22: Have you kissed three or more people in one night? no.
• 23: Did your last kiss take place in/on a bed? never.
• 24: Are you good at hiding your feelings? probably the best in the country
• 25: Have you ever cried from being so mad? most of the time. when i get mad, i lose everything. my emotions just go crazy and i can actually beat up a tough guy. i'm scary.
• 26: Who did you last see in person? Shannon 
• 27: Are you listening to music right now? Yes; kristy are you doing okay by the offspring
• 28: What is something you currently want right now? to be able to fly.
• 29: What is the last thing you said out lot? "YOU ATE TOO MUCH FATS"
• 30: How is your heart lately? condition? not that pretty. emotional aspect, hmm, confused?
• 31: Do you wear the hood on your hoodie? i kind of love that but everyone always judge me when i do that
• 32: Are you wearing socks? now, no.
• 33: What do people call you? jingti?
• 34: Will you talk to the person you like tonight? hahahahaha. okay.
• 35: Are there any stressful situations in your life? yes. escaping the toughest challenge.
• 36: Who did you last share a bed with? my bolsters.
• 37: Did you do something bad today? mm, is talking back to a teacher considered?
• 38: When was the last time a member of the opposite sex hugged you? mm, never.
• 39: Do you get stressed out easily? sometimes. it depends who i'm facing.
• 40: Will you sing today? aww man, caught me. i sing baba black sheep everyday so yes.
• 41: Have you ever wanted to tell someone something but didn’t? yea.
• 42: Who do you go to when you need to talk to someone? my bolster or panda. i don't know, i don't trust people.
• 43: Have you ever been taken to the emergency room in an ambulance? not in an ambulance but emergency room yes.
• 44: What are you listening to right now? summertime; cody simpson
• 45: What is wrong with you right now? there's always something wrong with me
• 46: What is on your wrists right now? no cuts.
• 47: Where did you get the shirt/sweatshirt you’re wearing? er, class tee. hahaha i wear them as pjs if not they will rott.
• 48: What do you like better: hot chocolate or hot apple cider? hot chocolate. never liked cider
• 49: Do you make wishes at 11:11? no. i believe in everything except that.
• 50: Are you a good artist? mmm, not really but i really like being one. i'm just horrible at it.
• 51: Love really is a beautiful thing huh? yea. but it's hard to find now huh?
• 52: Do you miss the way things were six months ago? no.
• 53: Ever been on a golf cart? yeaa. hahaha. looong story.
• 54: Do you have trust issues? can't you already tell?
• 55: Ever stayed up all night on the phone, with who? yea. SOMEONE.
• 56: Do you own something from Hot Topic? nope. i'm a geek.
• 57: Do you use chap stick? yea. i need them.
• 58: Have you ever slapped someone in the face? yea. cause they slap me.
• 59: Do you have a little sister? yup
• 60: Have you ever been to New York? never.
• 61: Think of the last person who said I love you, do you think they meant it? hahaha, no. it's pretty obvious
• 62: Have you hugged someone within the last week? no
• 63: What were you doing at midnight last night? STUDYING
• 64: Have you ever regretted kissing someone? never kissed any freaking human ;) maybe my unicorn.
• 65: Is there one person in your life that can always make you smile? yea. hahahahaha.
• 66: Were your last three kisses from the same person? see above.
• 67: Have you kissed anyone in the last five days? see above
• 68: Would you rather sleep with someone else or alone? i don't know. depends. a cuddle would be good
• 69: Will next Friday be a good one? i hope so.

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