it was of the worst feeling i could ever imagine. having lost something so essential, so very significant to me. it was more than oxygen. it was to me, the beat of my heart. without it, i was already dead.

but i continued to live. i lived on being dead.

before losing him

him.

he was a piece of paper to me. for me to expand, add details, design, paint. he was always there.
every time of the day, he was always there for me. no matter when, no matter how difficult, he'll always find that time to come to me.

yet, like paper, i treat him of abundance. i took him for granted. i never took him seriously. i never remembered what he said.

someone once warned me that he'll be gone as days go by. but then, the young me was at closed ears.

without even realising our relationship grew factious. we grew apart. we forget. i forgot.

the emptiness in me only remains as a poignant reminder. i never tried to get him back.

i feel so pathetic now.   |

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