as cliche as it sounds, music was the only thing that stood by me. or rather, the only thing that i allow to be with me at all times regardless of my situation.

so right after my theory exam and some exploring at orchard i came home to do some music reminiscing.

with my frequently easily fluctuated emotions music have always been the tool to control myself, it's my output i guess.

it's like music is able to tell a story, to explain something i can't or rather, it understands me.

//

everyone tells me that people come and go. they exit your life and just, well disappear.

but.

isn't it more appropriate to say that they are still with you. just not there. they must have had left something with you.

i guess that's why it's so poisonous to know people huh.

i guess that's why it should be alright to be putting up walls.

that it's okay to be pushing people away and live in your own labyrinth and not venture into others.

because you're just merely protecting yourself and the person. right?

and

you are just afraid.

//

i love you.
 this isn't meant for anybody. i just needed to hear it in my head.

//

confliction conflicting the conflicted you.

//

there's so many who despise you, there's so many whom you abhor. i guess you just have to learn to let go and don't think about it.

//

sometimes being a little too spontaneous destroys everything. taking risks like jumping off the cliff wasn't very much worth while.

i shouldn't have done that then.

you just ceased to want to talk to me. i don't even know a spitz of what you were thinking of then. wow, i feel so pathetic.

//

you can't expect every one to feel and think the same way as you.
but, isn't what you think the best of solution?

i guess i was just too naive. how could i expect people to continue and be friends.

or rather maybe i was too mature.

//

huh, life's funny.

//

right, so you have the rights to hate me.

//

so little true friends in school since i was ever born but i'm glad to have just a handful.
i mean, i don't see how i require 20 over confidantes right?

//

i really really hate snobbish people and also i really hate people who draw lines between others just because they have different "status"

i hate labels. people often complain how they hate judgmental people but they are the one personally giving labels.
dude, hypocrite much.

//

i reckon i will one day not be in singapore anymore. i'll be somewhere where nature dominates. how people really not like the sun, the weather, the nature, saddens me.

funny hating something that's providing you your life.

isn't that like hating your mother.

i never understand humans.

//

people who try to cut you but pretend to be nice, what do you think i am ? i decipher lies so easily it's scary. i'll actually pretty much more cunning as anyone can be if i want to be.

//

i wonder what will happen 50 years down the road.

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